The Pain Of A Foolish Goodbye
by dcmasters
Summary: SECOND CHAPTER UP! YES YOU PERSUADED ME :P Will Phil keep his promise to Sam? This is my first attempt at HUXON! Song is Like We Never Loved At All by Faith Hill. Please R&R! Rating might change
1. Chapter 1

**The Pain Of A Foolish Goodbye**

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Jack Meadows, Samantha Nixon, Phil Hunter or any other character featured in this that is on the television program 'The Bill'. They are the property of TalkbackThames and Fremantle Media.

_Author's Note: This chapter is a songfic. The pairing is Huxon. At this stage it is merely just a one-shot, however, if people think I should continue this, then I might be persuaded to write another chapter or two. I thought I would do a Huxon pairing as it is something different from my usual JAM paring. Anyway, I hope you enjoy and please remember to review as this is my first attempt at Huxon and I might just be persuaded to write more if you like this and review:)_

_The song used in this fic is 'Like We Never Loved At All' by Faith Hill (with Tim McGraw)._

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As everyone looked to the stage they saw Jack Meadows announcing the next person to be doing karaoke at the station party. As reluctant as she was, Samantha Nixon had decided to give it a go as she never really did these sort of things. 

"So, everyone show Sam your support!" he said, as they cheered watching Sam walk onto the stage.

"Um... the song I have chosen is Like We Never Loved At All," Sam said nervously as the song began. As Sam sung the lyrics, memories played in her mind.

_You never looked so good_

_As you did last night_

_Underneath the city lights_

It was true. I'd seen him the night before on my way home and he looked as good as ever, in fact, better, if that was possible.

_There walking with your friend_

_Laughing at the moon_

_I swear you looked right through me_

As I watched you from my car you looked happy, like nothing we'd been through had affected you at all. Then you looked at me, but in a way you didn't. Although you may have looked straight at me, your face seemed blank, like I wasn't there.

_But I'm still livin' with your goodbye_

_And you're just goin' on with your life_

I still live with the memory of when I left you and the last time you said goodbye to me. It haunts me in a way, it always has since then, but I try to act as professional as I can, to keep my personal feelings aside when maybe I shouldn't. Then again, you seem to be getting along just fine.

_How can you just walk on by_

_Without one tear in your eye_

_Don't you have the slightest feelings left for me?_

It hurts me everytime I see you, everytime you're with another woman, even if its just a drink with another close colleague. I don't think I could stand to see you with anyone else.

_Maybe that's just your way_

_Of dealing with the pain_

_Forgetting everything between our rise and fall_

_Like we never loved at all_

Yes it hurts, it always has and still does, I can't help that feeling. I can't help the way I felt, the way I still feel.

_You, I hear you're doin' fine_

_Seems like you're doin' well_

_As far as I can tell_

Everyone seems to think you're okay and from what I can see you're absolutely fine. I know we're still close, and we have never lost that closeness, but... oh I don't know...

_Time is leaving us behind_

_(Leavin' us behind)_

_Another week has past_

_And still I haven't laughed yet_

Everything has been getting to me lately, cases, work, just everything. I have trouble focussing but seem strong enough to pull through it since the holiday, I mean, I have to be strong. It's just hard to find things to laugh at lately, things to be happy about.

_So tell me what your secret is baby_

_(I wanna know, I wanna know, I wanna know)_

_To lettin' go, lettin' go like you did, like you did_

Tell me please, I need to know how you can forget about what we had, what we felt, the way we were. Please, tell me how to properly let go.

_How can you just walk on by_

_Without one tear in your eye_

_Don't you have the slightest feelings left for me?_

I look over at you now and I can see you looking at me, I know you're not ignoring me now, but you still seem to look the same as you usually do, unworried, no feeling whatsoever in your eyes, not even sadness, you still even look somewhat happy.

_Maybe that's just your way_

_Of dealing with the pain_

_Forgetting everything between our rise and fall_

_Like we never loved at all_

I know it hurts, I feel it everyday, seeing you, working with you, just being with you. It makes me realise how much I miss you in my life and I can't forget about you. I don't think I ever could.

_Did you forget the magic? Oh_

Yes it was magic, like nothing I've ever felt before. I just don't know how I could be so stupid as to let you go, its not my fault I take the easy option sometimes, don't want to take a risk with my personal life.

_Did you forget the passion? Ohhhhhh_

I long to feel that passion again with you. The way you touch me, the way you kiss me, the way you hold me, the way you make love to me.

_And did you ever miss me?_

I miss you so much and I think you miss me too. Its just hard to ask you how you feel about what happened, about what you want, about everything.

_Ever long to kiss me?_

I kissed your cheek goodbye so lovingly, yet so sadly. I didn't want to do that but I felt I had no other choice. I'd been hurt enough in the last few years and I couldn't face you hurting me again. I just want to kiss you again, to feel that love for you again.

_Ohhhh ohohh ohh baby, baby_

I hope you don't think any less of me for singing this song. I just feel so heartbroken all the time and I wish there was something I could say or do to make you take me back.

_Maybe that's just your way_

_Of dealing with the pain_

_Forgetting everything between our rise and fall_

I wish I could forget, but in a way I don't want to. I don't want to ever forget you, the way we were together, the happiness you made me feel, the way I could forget everything when I was with you.

_Like we never loved... at all_

I'm so sorry for leaving you. I just, I got scared when you said you loved me. I know you'd said that to others in the past and broken their hearts and I couldn't face that happening to me. I really shouldn't have taken your past into account, but I was just so scared I'd end up like them, bruised and heartbroken by you, there seemed no other option, but, Phil Hunter, I love you.

As Sam finished the song, she hurried herself off the stage and from the canteen where the party was being held. She went upstairs and crept away into the quietness and darkness of her office, slid down against the wall and started crying convulsively.

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**So what did you think? Love? Like? Hate? Let me know your opinion by reviewing and I might be persuaded to turn what I planned to be a one-shot songfic into a story :) - Kylie xx**


	2. Chapter 2

_Chapter 2:_

Phil had watched Sam leave the canteen and was intrigued to follow her. Her knew she'd sung that song to him, she'd barely taken her eyes off him during it. What he didn't understand was why, if she still loved him that much, she let him go in the first place. He crept up the stairs to CID and heard crying coming from the direction of the DI's office. Phil knew the crying could only be from Sam, she had only really ever let her guard down infront of him before and he'd recognised the sound almost instantly.

He moved to the door to see where she was and noticed her against a wall. Phil moved over to her slowly, not wanting to startle the blonde.

"Sam…" he whispered, causing the blonde to look up at him, then turn away and wipe some of the tears from her cheeks.

"Just go Phil," Sam managed a few moments later.

"No, not until we've talked Sam," he replied, "I know you meant every word in that song, that it was meant for me…"

"Phil don't. I can't do this right now…"

"No Sam, I won't let you push me away again. I still care about you, I never stopped and I know you care about me too. So who are we kidding? Why are we putting ourselves through so much pain when we don't need to? We both know you took the safe option, you left me because you didn't want to run the risk of getting your heart broken, you didn't want to take a chance on me," Phil said.

Sam looked shocked at what Phil had said, after all, he was right, she did take the safe option.

Phil sat down beside her. "Sam, if I promise you that I will never ever hurt you, that I will remain completely faithful to you and that I will do everything I can to make you happy, will you give us another chance? I know it's what we both truly want, so please Sam, say you'll give us another chance?"

Sam watched him for a second. She could tell he meant everything he said, but could she take that risk again. It wasn't that he'd done anything to hurt her before, and he had remained completely faithful to her, she'd just got scared and run so she didn't have the opportunity to get hurt by him like most others did. Sam looked into Phil's eyes and kissed him softly.

"I'm sorry," she said, "I'm sorry I ever left you, sorry for hurting you, for ignoring you, for everything. Please forgive me Phil?"

Phil nodded and pulled the blonde into an warm embrace.

"What do you say we get out of this place and go back to yours to talk?" he asked.

"Yeah, I'd like that," Sam smiled.

"Come on then," Phil said, standing up and helping Sam to her feet.

They both walked out of the station and got into Phil's car. He drove both of them back to Sam's house where they chatted for a while. At midnight Phil decided it was getting late and that he should probably be heading home as they both had work the following morning. Sam had looked a little disappointed when he said he had to go.

"Phil… would you maybe… like to stay?" Sam asked.

"I don't want to rush you…" he said.

"You wouldn't be, please, I want you to stay, I don't want to be on my own anymore," Sam replied, holding Phil close.

"Okay, I'll stay," he said, smiling as he picked her up.

"Phil, what are you doing?" she laughed, "Put me down!"

"I'm carrying you to bed," Phil laughed, "You're feet must be killing you, you'e been in those boots since you arrived at work at god knows what time this morning."

Sam smiled and rested her head against Phil's shoulder, wrapping her arms around his neck and allowed herself to be carried.

As they neared the top of the stairs Sam yawned and closed her eyes a little.

"Hey, don't you go to sleep just yet," Phil said, but it was too late, she already was.

Phil placed Sam on the bed carefully and took off her boots, then changed her into some pajamas he found in the drawer. Phil lay down beside her and watched her for a little while, taking Sam in his arms before himself succumbing to the temptation of sleep…

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**Did they make the right decision? Will Phil stay faithful? Review and let me know if you want more:D xx**


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